And that’s just the way it will be.  The fear that I had of not being able to completely love my newborn son because of the pain in my heart from Susana’s death melted away the second that I saw my son being born.  I am so thankful to God for that.  I mean, I am so madly in love with my son that I get emotional just thinking about him.  I want to show him off to the world.  I hold him up (against my wife’s wishes) high in the air and say, “Look, everybody, I…have a son!!!!”  It’s great!  So, yeah, I love my little boy so much.  My heart is filled with such love for him.

And yet…I still weep.  My heart is still sad about Susana.  And I just have to realize that that’s just the way it will be.  I will have great tears of joy at the birth of my son and I will still have great tears of pain at the loss (temporary) of my little girl.  And so, intense grief and intense joy reside side by side in my heart.  It’s weird.  But it just is.  And God’s grace is sufficient.

So, my days look something like this:  Bringing my newborn son home from the hospital with a huge smile on my face, holding him and kissing him and feeling so much joy towards him.  Then putting him down and driving to the cemetery to put flowers on Susana’s grave, and weeping.  Then coming home, parking in the driveway for a few minutes as I dry my tears, walking inside, picking up my son to lay him down on my chest in order to bond, looking at him with intense love.  Then putting him to sleep, and I myself go to sleep.  Then have a dream about Susana where I see her (with beautiful brown curly hair, talk to her, tell her how much I love her and hear her tell me that she loves me too.  Then waking up in the morning, sharing the dream with my wife, and we both weep for a bit as we talk about how much we miss our girl, and then we hear the soft cooing of our son, and we go over to pick him up and smother him with more kisses and love.  Yep, that’s what it looks like.  And somehow…truly…God’s grace is with us.  And we continue to learn about the true meaning of perseverance.

So, here’s why we named him Jacob Cameron.  Well, first of all, it’s just an awesome name!  But, we were not going for the most popular name as we know that it has been for several years.  As a matter of fact, we had the name Jacob picked out when we had our first child over 7 years ago, but she turned out to be our lovely Isabela.  So, we have been waiting for Jacob.  Ever since I first became a Christian at age 19, I felt like the Lord had always told me that He was going to give me my own son some day.  I just never thought that it would have happened in this manner, just months after Him bringing my daughter to Heaven.

When we found out we were pregnant, my wife knew immediately that it was going to be a boy because of what the name signifies.  Remember the story of Jacob in the Bible?  His name means “supplanter”  which means to replace something with something else.  Jacob was the twin of Esau, and even though Esau was born first (which would give him the rightful blessing and inheritance of the firstborn), Jacob came out clutching at the heel of Esau implying that he was trying to be the first so that he would be the child to receive the blessing.  So, even though Jacob lived up to his name in many ways of scheming and deceiving, he still was indeed the child whom God chose to pass the blessing and inheritance down his family line.

So, in the same way, we feel that God has brought us Jacob to be a supplanter to our grief over Susana.  No, he will never replace Susana, but perhaps God intends to use our joy over him as a way of replacing some of our grief over Susana.  Like I said, I still grieve, but somehow my heart is able to contain both great joy and great grief.  So, when we found out we were pregnant, Maria knew immediately that God was now bringing us our Jacob.  Crazy how God works like that, huh?  So, we pray that this name represents some of his spiritual heritage.  May he be one who worships the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob.

The middle name Cameron is to reference my scottish heritage from my Dad’s side of the family.  We hail from Scotland, aye.  And we hail from the Cameron tribe in the highlands.  So, I wanted to give him a name that represents part of his natural heritage.

I also wanted him to have the same initials as myself, JCW.  I did not want a junior because I just don’t want my boy to be altogether like me.  There are too many things about myself that I do not want him to imitate.  But, I do want him to be somewhat like me.  I want him to love the Lord Jesus with all his heart and I want him to love people with God’s compassionate heart.  And it would be great if he loved fly fishing and the outdoors as well.  So, having my same initials, I pray represents that he will have some of my foundation, but he will not be exactly like me…THANK GOD!!!

So, that’s where I am at these days.  I am absolutely overcome with love and joy.  There is no question that I will not love this child in the deepest way.  And at the same time, I grieve.  I miss my little girl and can’t wait to be reunited with her on that great and glorious day!  But until then, God gives me His grace to persevere…and to love.  Crazy how God works like that, huh?

Missing my precious little girl

forming a special bond.

I...have a son!!!!

my sleepy little boy...big yawn!

May the God of Jacob lead him always...

Jacob Cameron Whittaker
Born on August 25th, 2011 at 6:47PM
Weight: 7 lbs, 7 oz.
Length: 20 1/2 inches

We rejoice in God this day as He has gifted us with a son.  Jacob Cameron Whittaker.  What a blessing!!!!!  I will update with stats and pictures later, but for now I just want the world to know, “God has given me a son!!!!!!”

We recently had a team of 8 from Wisconsin come to Haiti to serve with us. We had a great time. Here is a brief recap of our trip with some pictures. Enjoy.

Monday

The first thing we did was travel into the mountains in Peridot (about 45 minutes from Jacmel) to visit with some of our sponsored kids and the families that are caring for them. First, we visited with Modeline Pierre and her family. Modeline is one of our most recent kids into our program and already has one sponsorship. The family was very happy to see us come and visit them at their house. We just spent some time hanging out with the family, playing with the kids, and then prayed for them all. I asked to see the inside of their house and to see where all the children slept. Modeline’s care taker showed me only one bed for the entire family. She said that Modeline shared the bed with 2 other children. The other children slept on the floor with nothing, not even a pillow. So, I told her that we would pray about trying to get them some beds and mattresses. One of the team members stated that he wanted to help with some of the costs, so I thank the Lord for that. It would be great to get all the children to be able to sleep in a bed, even if they have to share with one or two others. We probably need about $400 to buy a couple of beds and mattresses for the family. God will provide.

We learned that Modeline’s care taker is not related at all to Modeline. Modeline was abndoned by her Mother when she was just a baby. The mother simply left Modeline at the door of this woman who is now her care giver. Her name is Sevita. Sevita said that it was God who left a gift at her door rather than a mother who abandoned her child. I was blessed to hear her say that she saw it that way. We are blessed to have one sponsor for this family, but we need a few more in order to really be able to help them. Would you consider sponsoring this family?

After leaving there, we headed further into the mountains to vist with Roseline Petit and her family. It was a blessing to see her, and she was so happy to receive us. Again, we spent time playing with her, talking to the family members, and praying for them all. I also delievered some letters to her that had been written by her sponsor. She was so happy to receive them. I challenged her reading ability, and to my satisfaction, she read well. I always love hearing our kids read. That might sound like something so normal, but it isn’t in Haiti. A child that can read is already ahead of more than 50% of the population. And this is why our sponsorship program is really making a difference in the lives of Haitian children. The sponsorship program keeps these kids in school on a consistent basis. Education is a must for the success and survival of the Haitian children. So, thanks for all of you who are investing in the lives of these orphaned children through our sponsorship program.

After saying good-bye to Roseline’s family, we headed back down the mountain and went to the school in Marigot just the next town over. That is the school where all of these children go. This is the school that we partner with. So, we did an outreach to many of the kids who had come. There were about 65 kids. We fed them sandwiches, and then the team performed a skit that illustrated the biblical message of Jesus being the only one who can cleanse us from our sins. It was great! It was the first time that we ever did a skit there. The kids really seemed to connect with it. After the message, we distributed new flip flops to all the kids. They were happy to receive them.

I gave the Director, Josue, some of the sponsorship money to pay for some of the tuition of our sponsorsed kids. He was happy to receive it because now he will be able to pay some of the teachers. You see, the sponsorship program covers the cost of school tuition. This in turn helps the Director of the school be able to continue to pay the teachers, which in turn enables the teachers to continue teaching, which of course enables the children to continue to learn. So, again, the sponsorship program really does go a long way.

But the school still needs a lot of support and we are praying about further ways to help the school be most effective in educating the children. I would love to bring a team of educators down some time to do like a teacher’s retreat/workshop. I think that could be great for the teachers. Anybody interested?

So, that was Monday. Needless to say, by the time we arrived back at the Mission/Disciplseship House, we were totally exhausted. After a great meal, the team relaxed, had a devotional, did some prep work for the following day, and called it a night.

Into the mountains of Peridot to visit families

Walking up the path to visit Roseline Petit and family

Roseline opening a letter from her sponsor

Team members Esther and Kim at the home of Modeline Pierre

Modeline Pierre...a gift from God

feeding the kids at the school in Marigot

At the school in Marigot

Francisco, one of our sponsored kids

Tuesday

We had the kids from our Jacmel sponsorship program come for the day. The team did a Bible program with them in the morning, which included a craft, some singing, and a message about how God used all the bad things that happened in Joseph’s life to turn out for good.

After the bible program, we fed the kids lunch, and then they all piled in my truck and we took them to the beach! They were so excited to go to the beach again. We had a blast just loving on them and enjoying our day together.

After we got back and said good-bye to the kids, we showered, ate dinner quickly, and headed out the door to our evangelistic outreach that we planned at the new community where we are trying to bring the gospel. We showed a great evangelistic movie in Creole called “The hope”. There were about 65 people who came out. Just before we started the movie, I pulled one of our translators (who are much more than just translators, but more like volunteer leaders) and asked him (Lures) if he would like to be the one that gives the gospel message after the movie instead of me doing it. He was very surprised that I asked him, but also very happy. You see, we realize more and more that Haitians are going to be the most effective in reaching their own people. So, rather than have me as the white person at the front and center, we want to develop young Haitian leaders to be able to minister the truth of the gospel to their own people. So, we’re trying to focus more on doing this. The previous 2 times that we have done an evangelistic outreach in this community, I have been the one to share a message with the people. So, this time, and from here on in, I want to have our Haitian leaders be the ones that do this.

So, after the movie, Lures came up to the front and ministered in the power of the Holy Spirit. He spoke well with passion and conviction. After he spoke, he gave an invitation for anyone who wanted to accept Jesus. One young guy came forward and gave his heart to the Lord! Praise God for the first conversion that we have witnessed in this community. Afterwards, Lures, myself, and our other translator/leader named Anderson spoke with the young guy and encouraged him some more. Lures and Anderson just emailed me the other day and told me that they gave the young guy a bible and have already brought him to church. So, please pray for this young guy. I forgot his name, but I do know that he is 15 years old and doesn’t have a mom or a dad. His heart really seemed genuine when he came forward to pray to receive Christ. Lures was so happy to see how God used him to bring the message of salvation. And I myself was so happy to see God use Lures for His glory!

Please be in prayer for these two guys. I have asked them to pray about serving with our ministry on a regular basis. I told them that I would like to train and disciple them up as leaders in our ministry. I also am praying about any way that we can invest in their lives and help them be all that God has called them to be. They are both 21 years old and are in that stage in life where they are seeking the Lord’s direction for what God would have them do. But their options seem so limited right now because of the lack of possibilities that Haiti offers as well as the fact that they don’t have hardly any money, except for the money that they make when translating for us. So, I am praying about ways that we can further invest in the lives of these 2 young godly men who just want to honor God with their lives. Would you all be in prayer with me? I know that God has great plans for these guys. Thanks so much.

All the kids enjoy coming to the mission/discipleship house to learn about Jesus

Team member with Nicola, one of our first sponsored girls. She's very sweet and very quiet.

Arts and crafts with the kids

Our friend Hallie with Lovely, one of our most recently sponsored girls

Wisli and Edens, new sponsored kids who are in our program for the first time.

Anderson with a team member who we affectionately named "Gwo Vant" - Big Belly

Lures poses with Gwo Vant

Wednesday

On Wednesday morning, the kids from the orphanage in Titanyen arrived in Jacmel where they would stay at our Mission House for the rest of the week. We spent the morning having the team getting to know the kids, then the team led the bible program. The kids were very eager to learn, sing, and make crafts. They had so much fun. Then, we fed them lunch. It was such a blessing to see these kids in our Mission House. They were just so excited to be there!

After lunch, we had originally planned to take them to the soccer field on this day for a fun field day, and then to the beach on the following day, but because we heard that there was Tropical Storm Emily coming our way soon, we decided to make the this day the beach day just in case the storm came later and we never would be able to go to the beach. So, the kids all piled into my pickup truck and the rest of the team piled into the tap tap that we hired for the week, and we were off to the beach again. I’m telling you, these kids were so excited when we arrived at the beach. I learned that none of them had ever been to the beach or in the ocean. So, I gathered them all together and on the count of three, we all ran into the water. It was awesome! We had such a great time. We had chicken fights, played ball in the water, rolled around in the sand, drank cokes, and just had tons of fun!

Just as we were getting ready to go, I gathered all the kids together along with the rest of the team. We all gathered in a circle and I gave the kids the opportunity to pray and give thanks to God for the wonderful gifts that He has given us. Many of the kids prayed aloud. It was beautiful. Then, we all sand a few songs, both in English and Creole. There on that beach, with other Haitian people looking at us, we worshipped the maker of the ocean and everything else. We gave him glory. We lifted up the name of Jesus for all to hear. I even had our tap tap driver join in our circle to pray and sing. I figured I’d invite him into our circle since he always invites himself into our group whenever we are buying food or drinks. Haha! It’s true. So, I decided that if our driver (Ti Fre) was going to score free food and drink, that he would also join us when we prayed and worshipped. It was really cool. As a matter of fact, that day when he dropped us off, he said “Ale avek Bondye”, which means “Go with God.” So, perhaps the Lord is using our witness to soften his heart. Cool.

After showers, we all gathered at the table and enjoyed a great meal together. These kids can eat! There is never any leftovers on their plate. They all licked their plates clean. By the way, those of the orphaned kids from the orphanage who came to Jacmel were: Felancie, Michelda, Marcarthur, James, Astride, Sainteline, Aslaine, Marie Carmelle, and Rivaldo. These kids had so much fun.

After dinner, everybody got into their pj’s and we all watched a movie together on our wall using our projector. We watched “Finding Nemo” in french. It was cool. The kids really liked it. I must say that it was not as great since the french dubbed voices were not as funny sounding as the original voices. But the kids liked it, at least those who were still awake. Some of them passed out because they were so tired from having a day filled with so much fun activity.

On your mark....

get set...

GO!!!!!!

Marcarthur sips a sprite while sitting in the surf.

Rivaldo is happy!

In the water with the Titanyen kids for the first time ever!

Ready to eat dinner!

Chilling out watching a movie

Thursday

Thursday was the day that Emily was touching down in Jacmel. It turned out to be much lighter of a storm than was expected. But it still felt like pre-hurricane weather all throughout the day, therefore we were forced to stay indoors all day long. But we still all had a great time. The team led the kids with the bible program in the morning. Then, after lunch, we just hung out, played, sang some worship songs, played some more, and just enjoyed being together. We got so silly from being indoors all day, but it was great. After dinner, we had a short devotion and then watched another movie. Again, some of the kids passed out just after the opening credits.

Ti Fi Ti Fi Ti Fi (The Girls)

Ti Gason, Ti Gason, Ti Gason (The Guys!)

Storm Emily approaches Jacmel.

Worshipping the Lord while Tropical Storm Emily blows through Jacmel

Worshipping the Lord

Singing sweet songs to Jesus in many languages

Friday

Friday was our last day together. We did the bible program for the kids in the morning and then in the afternoon we brought them to the soccer field for a fun field day. The kids played soccer for a while, and then afterwards we had a water balloon toss. I was not there for any of this as I had to meet with a few sponsored families and bring them some food, so I brought 2 of the team members with me.

One of the families that I visited with was Lovely and her aunt Ismen. I mentioned before that the last group from Alabama came here and saw that Lovely was living in a tent, so they donated $1,000 so that we could get her into a house. So, I met with her and the owner of the house that she found. We negotiated a price and came to a deal. Lovely and Ismen were so happy to know that they will be able to move into a house after living in a tent for the last seventeen months. Thanks so much to Bethel Baptist for their donation to help this family. We get so excited to see how the Lord provides!

While I was with one of the families, the orphanage director (who was also with us for the week) called me and asked me when I was coming back to the field because the kids wanted to wait for me to come until they had the water balloon toss. I suspected something was up, and sure enough when I drove back to the field, they all had suspicious looks on their faces. I knew what was coming next, so I just opened the door and got out of my truck and allowed all of the kids to rush at me throwing their water balloons at me and getting me totally soaked! It was so funny. Even tiny little Marie Carmelle…she was the worst of them all. She was just filling up cups of cold ice water and running up to me and pouring it down my back! So, after I chased them all for a while and got each one of them back, we wrapped things up and headed back to the mission house.

After quick showers and changing clothes, we piled back into my truck and the tap tap and we headed out to the nice restaurant that we had planned for the kids. They were so happy. Again, I learned that none of the kids had ever eaten at a nice restaurant like this. We all had a great time together…including Ti Fre who once again slipped up to one of the tables as the food was being served. Haha. After hanging out at the restaurant for a while, we headed back to the mission house. The rest of the night was spent packing, wrap up session by me, devotions, and sleep since we all had to get up at 4AM the next morning to go to the airport.

All in all, it was a great trip. The team was a group of 8 people from Wisconsin. As a gift, they brought me some cheese…how nice…25 pounds of it!!!! Yes, my freezer is filled with nothing but cheese. So, if any of my missionary friends in Jacmel are in need of cheese…you know where you can find some.

The team did great! I really enjoyed having them down for the week and I am excited that they want to come back next year. God is good.

Much better than the ripped, leaky tent where they have been living for the past 17 months.

New house for Lovely and her family. They are so happy to get out from living in the tent.

Big 2 room house where Lovely and family will move into later this week

They are so thankful for the house. Mesi Jezi!

Astride is excited to eat at this nice restaurant!

Team member Kim shares a hug with Felancie during dinner

Felancie lounging in the tree outside the restaurant

Group shot at the restaurant

"Hey, I can't help it if I'm still good looking even if I have a flower in my hair"

Don't mess with The Bosses!

Felancie, Michelda, and Astride are all smiles on this day

Anderson, part of our good looking dynamic duo translator/leader team

The other part of the good looking dynamic duo. Lures thinks he's Michael Jordan!

The team riding in the tap tap

Crazy pose at the soccer field!

What a powerful message from John Piper about stepping out in faith to care for the orphans. I wanted to share with all of you.–Maria

Last week, we had a youth/college team here from Alabama.  The team did an amazing job pouring out the love of Jesus into the hearts of the orphans in our program.  Each morning, we had a bible lesson based on the theme of running the race of faith, and after the lesson we would do a craft.  Then in the afternoons we took them to some fun places.  I shared in my last post about the first day where we took them to the beach.  The kids had a blast.  The thing that most pleased me is that when we were all at the beach, I looked around and saw that not one single child was left to play alone.  Every child was being played with by one or a few team members.  It was a real blessing to see…and it was a real treat for these kids.

The following day, after the morning bible lesson, we piled them all into my pickup truck and went to a private field that another missionary friend of mine gave me use of for the afternoon.  There, we had a great game of soccer.  These kids are so good at soccer.  Even the little ones were going around me like I was standing still.  Many, if not all of these kids never get to play soccer in such a big wide open field.  Usually, you see them trying to play a game at the end of a dirt road or something.  So, for these kids to have a big field all to themselves was such a treat for them.  They all had a blast!

On Wednesday, we had another special treat planned for them.  After the bible lesson and craft, we all piled them again into the back of the pickup truck and drove them to the Kabic Beach Restaurant where we all served the kids hot dogs, fries, and cokes to their hearts content.  The restaurant is a beautiful outdoor place that overlooks the beauty of the Caribbean.  After we ate, I asked them if they knew what we were going to do next, even though I had no idea.  So, jokingly, I told them that we were going to dance, and I started doing funny dance moves.  The next thing I know, the owner of the restaurant cranks up the music and all the kids and team members get up and start dancing.  We danced the Haitian dance called the Kompa.  It was so cool to see all the kids being danced with from all of us.  They were having so much fun.  What a pleasure it was to serve them and treat them like kings and queens for the afternoon.

But when we got back to the Mission House, something happened that made my heart sad.  First, I gathered all the kids together and asked them if they knew why it was that we were doing all of these things for them.  I tell them all the time that we do these things because we want them to know how much Jesus loves them.  So, when I asked them the question, I was sad to hear that most them said that we are doing these things for them because they are orphans.  I told them that, while it is true that they are in the program because they don’t have parents, the main reason why we do everything that we do is because we want them to know that Jesus loves them so much.  So, after I shared this, I told everybody that we would like to have a time where we close our eyes and give thanks to God for all of the wonderful gifts that He has given us and for the fun things that we were able to do together.  I reminded them that every gift that they have received really comes from Jesus.  I asked everyone to close their eyes and just take the time for anyone who wanted to pray out loud and say thank you to Jesus for all the wonderful gifts that He has given.

After waiting for a minute without any child praying anything, I told them again that now would be the time to say thank you to God for all that they have received.  One boy then prayed and said thank you to God.  After that…silence.  Nobody else prayed.  My heart was sad.  I asked them why it was that they did not want to say thank you to God.  I gave them an analogy of somebody giving another person a special birthday present and the person that received the birthday gift just took it and walked away without saying anything.  I asked them how that would make them feel if they were the one who was giving the birthday present and the person to whom they gave it to just took it and walked away without ever saying thank you.  They were all pretty quiet at this point.  And so I told them that perhaps Jesus feels that very same way when He gives us such wonderful gifts and we just turn around and walk away without ever saying thank you.  One of the kids asked if we could try it again, but I told them that we will give another opportunity the following day.  I wanted these kids hearts to feel conviction…perhaps for the very first time in their life.  I wanted them to walk away thinking about all that I had just said.  And I wanted them to realize that they hurt God by just taking for granted His wonderful gifts.  My heart was sad, but I realized that so many of these kids are so broken.  They live in a world where it is all about survival.  They learn to take what they can get.  they are probably never told or taught to say thank you.  So, this was a great teaching moment and I wanted them to learn.  So, they left rather quietly.

The next morning, I was reading my bible and I was asking the Lord to give me a passage in His word that would illustrate the point that I was trying to make with them the previous day.  I was so excited when I turned to Luke 18 and read the story of when Jesus healed ten lepers.  So, I gathered the kids together at the end of the bible program and shared with them about this story.  I told them about these ten lepers that Jesus encountered.  These men were outcasts of society.  They were looked at as the most unclean people.  They were viewed as being cursed by God.  They could not even live inside the community with the rest of the people.  And Jesus loved them…and Jesus gave them the most wonderful gift by healing them of their leprosy.  They all went away and did as Jesus commanded them to do in order to be healed.  And they were all healed.  But, only one of them came back to say thank you to Jesus.  And when Jesus saw the one coming, He even asked the man where the other nine were that were also healed.  And Jesus commended the one who had returned and told him that his faith has saved him.  The kids were all listening very attentively.  I asked them questions about the story to make sure that they understood.  And they all answered the questions correctly.

And so I then told them that the reason why I shared that story was to let them know that all of us were just like the lepers.  We were unclean.  We were outcasted by God.  We were dirty in His sight.  Yet, He healed us.  He forgave our sins.  And not only that, but He has poured out His amazing love into our hearts.  And I told them that He has poured out His amazing love to them through all of us who have given them such a wonderful time throughout the week.  And I told them that Bradley (the only one who prayed and gave thanks to God the previous day) was like the one leper who returned to give thanks to God, whereas everybody else were like the nine lepers who were also completely healed, but did not return to give thanks to God.  I shared with them about how the Lord loves to hear us say thank you to Him for His amazing gifts.  I told them that my heart was to live as the one leper who returned and not like the nine who did not.  And I encouraged them to do likewise.  I looked into their eyes as I spoke to them.  Many were completely focused on what I was saying.

After I shared, I told them that we will now close our eyes and give an opportunity for anyone to pray who wanted to give thanks to God for His gifts.  The room went silent.  And then…one child began to pray and give thanks.  After she was done, another child prayed and gave thanks to the God of the universe.  Then another…and another…and another.  It was beautiful.  They got it!  They understood what the word of God was saying.  They felt the conviction of the Holy Spirit.  After about 15 minutes, just about every child in the room had prayed and gave thanks to God.  When I asked if there was anybody else who wanted to pray who hadn’t yet, little Robinson Francois raised his hand and said that he would also like to pray.  And so, I think every child prayed.  It was beautiful.  To me, this was a very defining moment in our program.  This was discipleship.  And these are the kind of things that will carry over into the every day lives of these children.  It made my day!

After the kids left at noon, we brought the team to the beach for a fun day.  The waves were huge and everybody had a great time.  But the waves of pain in my heart were also huge.  I grabbed a rock with Isabela and we both wrote a message to Susana in the sand.  I told her that I love her and that I miss her.  Less than a minute after I finished writing it, a big wave came up and washed it all away.  I went out into the ocean by myself and just wept.  I looked back at Isabela who was playing in the shallow water by herself and it made me weep even more.  I so longed to see my little Susana there in the surf playing with her big sister.  The waves of grief came larger than the ocean waves that were knocking everybody over.  My heart still aches every single day.  I long to be reunited with my precious little girl in Heaven.  But, God has ordained it that I still have a race to run here on this earth…and so…I press on…

That night, we invited the kids over to the Mission House for a movie night.  We showed Tom and Jerry cartoons on our movie projector on our wall.  The kids loved it.  Again, what a beautiful moment I witnessed when I looked around the room and saw so many of the children sitting in the laps of various team members.  It was beautiful.  Some of the team members were crying as they said a final good-bye to the kids that they spent the week with just pouring the love of Jesus into their hearts.  It was very moving.

On Friday, we went and visited the home of one of the orphaned girls who is now in our program.  Her name is Lovely.  And she is just like her name…Lovely.  Anyway, we learned that she was living in a tent with her aunt.  This broke my heart.  I brought several of the team members over to visit with her in her tent.  They were overwhelmed with sadness.  I told them that I would love to put a word out on our website asking if anybody would be led to give some money so that we could move this woman and the children that she is caring for into a house rather than remaining in this tent where she has lived for the past 17 months.  What a blessing it was to hear the Team Leader say that his church had already raised some additional funds for this trip and that they will give $1,000 so that we can rent a house for Lovely and her family.  When we visited on Friday, we first went to the depot and bought her a ton of food just to let her know that we love her and that God has heard her prayers for help.  She was amazed when she saw us bring all this food into her tent.  She cried tears of overwhelming joy.  And then she cried again when we told her that this team from Alabama was going to give her $1,000 to rent a house.  The team is also going to try and raise additional funds to help buy some furniture and get her better situated.  We already have 2 people from the previous Alabama team from Grandview Baptist who want to sponsor Lovely.  This is amazing since her picture is not even up on the website yet.  We just learned that she is an orphan.  Her mother died years ago in a flood and her father died recently of cholera.  We are so excited to see how the Lord is already providing for this family.  Lovely has also become friends with Isabela, and now she comes up to our gate every day asking if she can play with Isabela.  God is so good.  I love seeing His redemptive hand in motion.

So, God is at work.  The kids are starting to get it.  Discipleship is beginning to take place.  Redemption is happening as the body of Christ is meeting the needs of the poor and the orphan.  The Lord is giving us a vision to further this work and we are excited to share it with you soon.  May God be praised!

That’s what I told the team what it is that we will be doing throughout the week as they work along side our mission.  They will be playing a part in God’s redeeming work in the lives of about 15 orphaned children.  My goal this week for the kids – Bless their socks off.  Pour the love of Jesus into them so much that it just spills out from them.  And that is what God has called us to do.

There is something that is so incredibly special about taking the “throw aways”, those that many in society would label as worthless, and pouring the love of Jesus into them so they overflow.  There is something incredibly special about taking what some may call the lowest of the low and placing them at the very top.  How wonderful it is that the Lord takes us beggars and paupers and turns us into princes and kings.  And that is what our ministry to the orphaned children is all about.  It’s called redemption.  He takes ashes and turns them into beauty.  He takes the ugly and makes them beautiful.  He takes the sinners and makes them saints.  And He takes the orphaned and makes them family.

So, our plan this week is to have a Bible Camp for the kids that are in our program.  And a group from Bethel Baptist Church in Dothan, Alabama gets to share in this great experience.  We have a Bible program each morning at the mission/discipleship house from 9AM – 12PM.  Then, we have lunch with them.  And after that, we are taking them to a few special places just to show them that they are loved so much by God.

Today, after the Bible program, we took them all to the beach and we had a blast!  The kids had so much fun.  They were so happy to just be playing in the water and being loved on by so many people all at once.  Then, we bought them cokes and played some more.  Some played soccer on the beach with a few of the team members, some buried each other in the sand, and others frolicked in the huge waves.  But nobody was playing alone.  Every child always had one or several of us near them just spending time with them and making an investment in their lives.  It was wonderful!  On the way home, all the kids were riding in the back of my truck and they started singing some worship songs as we rode through the streets.  It was precious.  And I just thanked the Lord for the power of redemption that comes through Him.

These kids are starting to get it.  They are beginning to see that its much more than just a story and a craft.  It’s love.  It’s a love that is beyond human nature.  It is an amazing love from above.  It’s God’s love.  And it is being poured out into their hearts over and over again.  Our desire is that they will become so saturated with God’s love being poured into them, that it will take deep root in their own lives and in the lives of those around them.  I love seeing God’s redemptive work taking place right before my eyes.  And today I saw a glimpse of that work.  May He alone receive all the praise and glory!

Tomorrow, after Bible program, we are taking them to a private soccer field where we will play soccer, run around, play games, and enjoy the love of Jesus being poured out into all of us once again.  Then, the next day after Bible program, we are taking them all out to a nice restaurant, which is something that perhaps none of them have ever experienced.  So, please continue to pray as we play a part in God’s redemptive work in the lives of these precious children who, in many ways, are orphaned no more!

I woke up this morning at around 2:00 AM thinking about Peter. Most people, including myself, identify with Peter because he often spoke without thinking. He was quick with his lips and sometimes with his actions. He was also the one who denied our Lord. Not just once. Three times. If I am honest with myself I must admit that I’ve been guilty of denying our Lord many times more than Peter did. But that’s not what I was thinking about this morning.

I was thinking of Peter the man who would glorify God in a very painful way. What I had in my mind was John 21:18-19.

“Truly, truly, I say to you, when you were young, you used to dress yourself and walk wherever you wanted, but when you are old, you will stretch out your hands, and another will dress you and carry you where you do not want to go.” (This he said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.) And after saying this he said to him, “Follow me.”” –(John 21:18-19 ESV)

Jesus told Peter that he would stretch out his hands and go to a place where he would not want to go. The historical record shows that is exactly that Peter did. He died as a martyr stretching his arms like his Lord dying on a backwards cross because he didn’t think of himself worthy of dying like Jesus.

Michelangelo Merisi, aka Caravaggio: Crucifixion of St. Peter, Santa Maria del Popolo, Rome

I have a feeling that at that moment Peter did not understand how such a grotesque death would glorify God. I say this because Peter immediately turned to see John who happened to be snooping around and asked Jesus, “what about this man?” Funny how I can relate to Peter in this way more than any other way. I think that it would be very hard for me to know my destiny without questioning the fate of others. What about her Lord? What about him?

When I thought of Peter and what Jesus told him I was reassured that I do not need to understand everything. I do not need to know God’s plan to its fullness. It is very natural to question everything, to want to know details, and to seek for purpose where we see none. Yet, Jesus didn’t explain Himself to Peter. And He certainly doesn’t need to explain Himself to me.

God was speaking to me this morning. There are times where my life seems like a scarlet thread of pain. I feel like I was destined to walk the hard road while others were called to the easy path. I have vivid pictures in my mind of things I want to forget. Some done to me. Others caused by my own foolishness and rebellion. Nevertheless it has been a hard road. And in the past few days I’ve felt that my pain was more intensified especially as I looked for answers to all of my questions. Then I thought of Jesus’ words to Peter: “Feed my sheep.”, “Tend my sheep.”, “Follow me.”, “What is that to you?”, “You, follow me.” and I found that knowing what He needs me to do is far more helpful to me than knowing why He is doing what He is doing.

The Apostle John explained Jesus’ purpose in Peter’s suffering, “this He said to show by what kind of death he was to glorify God.” But before Jesus shared with Peter the end result He told him what Peter needed to do. Peter was to keep busy feeding the sheep, tending to it, and following Jesus. All this in the midst of great suffering through church persecution, imprisonment, and finally crucifixion.

The end result of my suffering is to glorify God. It is not in vain. It is not without purpose. It was ordained. And it is part of a plan that was not discussed with me, yet its end result is glorious.

In a time and age where pain and suffering are discarded as a mere tools of Satan to make our lives impossible or steal our pleasure it is hard to see suffering as a glorious and precious means for God to get all the glory. Yet, I believe that Satan wants us to believe that all pain and suffering is bad. He knows that when we experience pain it is not our natural tendency to see the glory of God in the midst of it. Satan’s chief plan is to destroy and steal the glory of God. The more that God’s glory shine in us through our suffering the more God is exalted and Satan seeks nothing but to be exalted himself. He is a thief. But he is not after our cars, houses, jobs, children, marriages, and money. No. He is after the glory of God.

Oh, that we would get that! Our enemy could care very little about our bank accounts. He is not mindful of our stuff. Our children mean nothing to him. He is not after your husband or your wife. All he wants is to steal the glory of God! And he will steal whatever he can from you to make you “curse God and die” because he knows that when you do God’s glory is defamed and he has won what he so badly desires. It is easy to let Satan steal God’s glory when we are in pain simply because we are in pain. If instead of fretting, cursing, screaming, or blaming our past, our parents, or our so-called friends for the times we suffer or stumble, we would give glory to God and patiently wait for His rescue, then we would have a tight grip on God’s glory and the enemy would not be able to take away what he is truly after.

As a fellow sister and someone who has had a number of painful experiences I encourage you not to fall into the trap of following your whys or what abouts. There is only one answer that matters—all is meant to bring glory to our Almighty Father in Heaven. By this too He will be glorified. I do believe that much, if not all, suffering is inflicted by our enemy to harm us and steal God’s glory away, but I also believe that God is ultimately in control and has a much greater purpose for all that comes our way. He is not oblivious to what is causing your tears. In the end everything will glorify Him. Rejoice in that.

Genesis 15 tells the story of God making a covenant with Abraham. In the midst of it He tells His friend, Abraham, that his offspring will be slaves for four hundred years in a strange land. That may not have been what Abraham wanted to hear right then. But this prophecy came to pass. And four hundred and thirty years later in Exodus 2 God hears the cry of His people in Egypt and He remembered the covenant He made with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob. The Scriptures say that “God knew”.

“God saw the people of Israel—and God knew.” –(Exodus 2:25)

God knew that it was time to come to the rescue His people. Their suffering had a purpose. It also had a time limit. Their suffering and enslavement would end up bringing God much glory. You and I are partakers of the covenant that included their suffering. God planned their suffering and also planned their rescue. Wait for God. In His time He will rescue you too. If you are His child you will not be in suffering nor in slavery forever. I promise. Until then, feed His sheep, tend His flock, and follow Him.—Maria