Life on the Outside
April 30, 2010
Well, Susana was discharged last night from the hospital around 6PM. It was both exciting and scary to be leaving. Obviously, we are happy to be out of the hospital and to start trying to get used to the new path that the Lord has placed us on. But we were also a little scared to leave since Susana is still sick. Its not like taking a child home from the hospital who is totally healed. We know that our little girl still has some major issues going on right now. And now, we are the ones that have to address all of those needs, administer shots and medication every day, monitor her eating and drinking, checking temperature regularly, keeping her safe and as comfortable as possible, and just being the ones responsible for her well being. So…yeah….it is a little scary. But we know that the Lord’s grace is sufficient each day. And so we continue to find our hope and trust in Him alone. He is still good. We have a few doctor appointments next week to check her counts. Lord willing, she will be ready for her second round of chemo in 3 weeks.
Susana was crying upon discharge and saying that she did not want to leave, but as soon as we got back to our hotel, she sat up on the bed, ate a few small bites of chicken, some bites of mac and cheese, and a small chocolate donut. She then wanted to play with all of her new toys. She was very happy with all of the things that so many people have sent her. My little girl is so selfless and giving. She opened up a bag of princess stickers, which she was very happy with. The next thing she does is start giving a few stickers to each of us so that we could all have some. I was so touched. She is such a gem. So, I proudly displayed my cinderella sticker on my shirt for everyone to see. She was feeling so good that she said she wanted to come with us to the store so that we could buy some ice cream cones. So, we all went out last night around 9PM in search of a Wal-Mart. She ended up getting very tired while we were driving around. Our search ended without landing us any ice cream cones, but it sure was nice just to see her sitting up in the car seat and looking around.
We have Maria’s friend, Jessica, who is visiting with us for a few days. She is from DE. She came down with her 4 year old son. It is good to have close friends standing with us.
We are staying at this hotel suite for a week. During this time, we will try to find an apartment nearby to rent. We realize that since we will be making routine trips to the hospital each week, that it would probably be best to try and live close to the hospital. So, please pray that we can find a place to rent.
Not in a million years would I have ever thought that we would be living in Miami…but here we are… – Cody
So proud of my little girl….
April 27, 2010
She is so strong. I pray that the Lord continues to give her the strength that she will need for the road ahead. She has finished her 1st round of chemo and the doctors said that she has done well. They have to administer one more drug today that will help boost her white blood cells. But first they have to give her another blood transfusion because her hemoglobin is very low. The doctors told us that this is nothing to worry about and that it is completely normal when she is getting chemo. They are hoping to discharge on Thursday, but we always remain flexible since anything can happen.
Pray that the Lord opens a door for us to get a permanent place in the area. right now, we will probably stay at the Ronald McDonald House until something permanent opens up. We have many people looking into various options. We also hope to be getting a car delivered to us today or tomorrow through Calvary Chapel Fort Lauderdale. That will be a huge blessing to us.
We just received a bunch of cards and gift boxes in the mail today. Thank you all so much for all of you who have truly been the hands and feet of Jesus to us. Thank you so much for the toys and gifts for both Isabela and Susana. Right now, Susana is looking over every single green homemade card that made by an afterschool program called the Funtastic Bible Investigators in NC. She really enjoys those cards.
Anyway, I am amazed by the courage and strength that our little Susana is demonstrating. I just can’t imagine the pain and discomfort of all the chemo as well as having all these new fixtures attached to her body. She is taking it well. I know that I will learn so much about perseverance as I watch her have to go through many difficult and painful things. We are right by her side each step of the way and we are so thankful that the Lord holds us all. – Cody
Holding onto the Word of Truth
April 26, 2010
It is His word that gives us the strength, peace, comfort, hope, and grace that we need each and every day. How could we ever endure this without Christ and His words of promise. He truly is sufficient…even in such a time as this.
I am blown away by the prayers and scriptures that have been prayed over Susana all over the world. I am serious when I say that prayers are reaching the Father’s throne from the 4 corners of the earth. We have people praying in Africa, New Zealand, Australia, Canada, South America, Latvia, Central America, England, and so many other countries. I am sure that we have well over 50,000 people praying for our precious Susana. What a blessing!!! The body of Christ has supported us in so many ways.
So, what I am in the process of doing is going over every single email, facebook comment, caring bridge comment, and blog comment, and what I am doing is writing down every single scripture that has been prayed over her. I want to take all these scriptures and write them on a big poster board or banner or something and place them in Susana’s room so that we can always be praying scripture over her. We know that there is power in the Word of God!
Susana is on her 3rd cycle of her 1st round of chemo. The doctors say that so far she is doing well. Last night, we were so excited to see her perk up for about a half hour. She just started talking, joking around with Isabela, laughing, and praying. I asked her if she wanted to maybe take a walk and she said that she wanted to go to the park or the beach. Well, she was just about to get up to take a walk, and then she decided that she did not want to. Oh well, it was just so good to see her perk up for a bit. Then, she said that her tummy was starting to hurt again and then she went back to lying down and not saying much.
Today, she is doing better. She is talking somewhat, which is just so wonderful to hear. I hope that soon we can take a walk to the playroom. But we take things moment by moment. Right now, she said that she wants to eat some chicken nuggets. Hopefully, by the time the nuggets arrive from the cafeteria she will not have changed her mind.
We had a talk with Isabela yesterday to explain to her what is going on with Susana. She seemed to really understand what we were saying and she became sad for a moment. When I asked her what this all meant that Susana has cancer and I asked her what we need to do, she replied, “We need to pray every single day and every single night that God will heal her.” That’s my girl. I am so blessed to have such amazing daughters…and an amazing wife. – Cody
Day two…
April 25, 2010
Last night was day two of chemotherapy. Susana is doing well. Her white blood counts are low so they are giving her a transfusion.
Sometimes the reality hits me. These are not terms that I wanted to learn so soon. Or ever. I’d rather speak in terms of malnourishment, malaria, dengue fever, poverty, starvation, Haiti, earthquakes, etc. These were more comfortable words than the ones I just recently added to my new daily vocabulary. After all, they had nothing to do with my own children. Yes, they were sad words. They invited a sense of pain into our world, but nothing that I can compare with the pain you have when it is your own child who is suffering.
I find myself like Peter. He knew very well that there was nowhere else to turn to, but to Christ and Him alone.
“So Jesus said to the Twelve, “Do you want to go away as well?” Simon Peter answered him, “Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life, and we have believed, and have come to know, that you are the Holy One of God.” –John 6:67-69
To whom shall we go? Life is only found in one place. Truth is only found in one place. Healing is found only in one place. Peace and love and comfort and assurance and abundance of mercy are found only in one place. That place is the Person of Christ. All other places are dead end roads that offer empty promises and carry no hope at all.
Some of you have made comments about what a great faith we have. I wish I could tell you that I have done anything to produce the kind of faith that sustains me through my day. I don’t have anything good to offer to such a moment as this. Nothing at all. All that I have is what He has already poured in me. This faith, this grace, this confidence that I now get to witness to the world is just the work of God in my life through years of close communion and fellowship with Him.
Each quiet time was preparation for this moment. Each verse I read was food that strengthened my weak spirit. Each song of praise built my confidence in His love. Each Bible study convinced me more and more that He is good and that He loves me and that all my days belong to Him. Even being in the mission field and watching closely how He worked in the midst of pain and suffering and earthquakes and confusion helped me grow stronger in my walk.
I could not have produced the faith I have. I don’t even think I can. He is the author of it. He is the finisher too. And He has done it all for His glory. I wish I could tell you that I have something to bring to the table. Something of my own. I have nothing. It is all a work of grace. A work of love. And I so much depend of it each step of the way. I know I will forget that He is there. I know that I will question His choices. I know that I am too weak to fully give myself into His perfect will. But I also know that He alone has all that I need for the moment. He has the grace I need for today and for tomorrow. He has the love I need to rock me and our entire family in His arms as we walk through this journey that He has set before us. And I need every brother and sister in Christ to remind me that His grace is sufficient for today because I know I will forget.
“Oh, the depth of the riches and wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable are his judgments and how inscrutable his ways!
“For who has known the mind of the Lord,
or who has been his counselor?”
“Or who has given a gift to him
that he might be repaid?”
“For from him and through him and to him are all things (including this trial). To him be glory forever. Amen.” (Romans 11:33-36) –Maria
Trusting…Crying…Waiting…
April 23, 2010
Today has been a hard day. The reality just sets in more and more that our little girl has cancer. Sometimes, it just hits me out of nowhere and I just break down and cry. Susana had to have a pick line put in her today so that the chemo can be administered more easily. Basically, it is an IV that remains underneath her skin and goes from her arm up to near her heart. This is how the chemo is administered. Anyway, she had to be put under for this procedure, and I was the one that was with her when they put her under. It was so hard to see my little girl put under, not just because she was being put under for some basic surgical procedure, but that she was being put under so that she can get a pick line that will administer chemotherapy since she has cancer. That is what made it so difficult.
While I was downstairs waiting for her in the family room, Maria was upstairs meeting with her doctor and signing all kinds of consent forms to begin the chemo treatment. Prior to that meeting and prior to her being put under, we met with a social worker who is there to help us with the changes and needs in our life now. It was painful when she started talking about making a referral to the Make a Wish Foundation. I don’t want that for my girl. To me, the Make a Wish Foundation is for a child to get one last hurrah before they die. Lord willing, we will never hear from the Make a Wish Foundation. We don’t have a wish…we have a prayer…”Lord, heal our little girl.”
So, today was a day of painful reality setting in. It was hard. But we praise the Lord for the blessings of Christian brothers and sisters who are touching our lives in the most special way. We had many people visit us today and this always gives us so much encouragement. We are also happy to have my mother, brother, and sister who are here until tomorrow. It is certainly a blessing to have such a wonderful support group. We had a group of us today gather around Susana, lay hands on her, anoint her with oil, and cry out to the Lord for healing. It was beautiful and very emotional.
I spent a lot of time today reading through many different forums and websites about neuroblastoma. In some ways, it was encouraging to hear of some stories of people that were in the same exact situation that we are in, and now they have a child who is healthy and cancer free after several long years of treatment. Yet there were other stories of children who had the same exact diagnosis that Susana has, yet they passed away after a year or two of battling and fighting on such a hard road. So again, I am simply reminded that ultimately this is all in the hands of our great God and Savior. He has the final word. Our trust is in Him.
And so we embark on a long road ahead of us that we know will be filled with more trials and pain than we have ever known. But we know that Jesus walks this road with us and that He will never leave us or forsake us. This is the comfort that we need. And this is the comfort that we have.
But one thing that I am learning through the many forums that I have been on is this: We must learn to wait. We must learn to wait on God. We must learn to wait on the doctors. We must learn to wait on Susana. We must learn to wait for Susana’s body to be able to receive the medication. We must learn to wait and understand that things will not always happen when we expect them to happen. So, we pray that God gives us the grace we need to wait.
Right now, we are waiting for Susana’s blood pressure to go down so that they can begin her first round of chemo. They are about to give her a blood pressure medication. Hopefully, within an hour it should take effect. Then they will give her the medication that will combat the nausea, and then, Lord willing, they will give her the first round of chemo by this evening. – Cody
Susana Update
April 22, 2010
Well, not really an update on Susana’s condition. She pretty much remains the same and hasn’t had any further tests done. One positive report back was that the doctors did not see any results that would show concern about the tumors putting pressure on her spine that may cause paralysis. So, we thank God for any good news. She is moving her legs without any problem as of now, so things are looking good with regards to that. They are waiting for some of the final bone marrow analysis to get the final diagnosis stamped as Neuroblastoma, which they are pretty much positive that it is. Once that diagnosis is confirmed, they will begin treatment. They are hoping to get the reports back today so that treatment can begin tomorrow.
We have had tons of people emailing us and offerings suggestions for hospitals that give the best treatment for children with cancer, and even children with neuroblastoma. Trust me, we too have done our research like crazy. We have talked with some of the top hospitals out there, Philadelphia, St Judes, etc. Here is the conclusion that we have come to through our many conversations with different doctors. The initial treatment for this cancer will be the same no matter where we go. As long as the hospital is part of the Children’s Oncology Group, the protocol will be exactly the same, whether we are at sloan kettering, St Jude, or here at Miami Children’s Hospital. The doctors that we spoke with encouraged us to go to a place where we have the most support and a place that we prefer. Her treatment will not differ wherever we go. It is only after the initial treatment that will determine if she needs to be moved to a specialty hospital for more advanced treatment. But that will not take place anytime soon.
So, our decision for now is to remain here at Miami Children’s Hospital, providing that we do not get accepted at St. Jude’s, which isn’t looking good. And that is fine since we trust that the Lord will open the door if He wanted us there. Since that door has not opened, we completely trust that it is not in His will for us to be there. So, here in Miami and Ft Lauderdale, we have a great network of support. Maria has family here in Miami and we both have friends and churches in the Ft Lauderdale area that are not far from here. We have been given an apartment temporarily through the hospital, but we would probably need a place to stay that is better for long-term. We also will need a vehicle as well and we already have a church in Ft Lauderdale trying to get us one. Like I said, we are blessed to have some great church family that can be a great support for us.
We are committed one hundred percent to making sure that Susana gets the best treatment. So, if the initail treatment here does not bring about any results, we will certainly go wherever she can get further advanced treatment. But right now, the initial treatment is the same anywhere we would go. So, we will remain here.
Thank you all so much for your prayers and your desire for Susana to get the best treatment. Know that we have bathed everything we are doing in prayer and are fully confident that the Lord is directing our every step. The care here in Miami Children’s Hospital has been great so far. The staff are extremely knowledgable and they are very kind. Susana has been given more gifts and goodies than we have room for. We believe that this is the best place for her to remain for now as is the best for our family. We have good friends who have offered support in so many ways, including helping Isabela remain homeschooled. What a blessing!
We are about to embark on a long and difficult road. May the Lord Jesus be our Prince of Peace and God of all comfort to all of us, especially our little Susana.
From here on in, we will only post updates on our blog at www.howcantheyhear.org rather than sending this group email all the time. So, please bookmark our website so that you can all stay informed and remain in prayer. We love getting emails and blog comments from all of you, so please don’t stop. It is so often the very words that we need to hear at exactly the right time. We thank the Lord for all of you and are so blessed to have such a strong support group.
God is on the throne…and He is good.
Giving and Contact Info for Susana
April 21, 2010
So many of you have asked to help us financially in addition to all the other support you have given. The best way for us to receive financial is still through our mission board at Global Outreach International. You can give on-line at www.globaloutreach.org. Click on "donate" then click on "donate to a specific missionary" then scroll to Haiti and enter an amount under our names, Cody and Maria Whittaker, then follow payment instructions. Or you can mail a check to Global Outreach International, made payable to Global Outreach, but with our names and account #3015 in the memo. Mail to Global Outreach PO BOx 1 Tupelo, MS 38802
Mail can be sent to:
Susana Whittaker
C/O Miami Children’s Hospital
3100 SW 62nd Ave
Miami, FL 33155
Prayers for Susana
April 21, 2010
We know that we have tens of thousands of people lifting our little Susana up before the throne of God. Please don’t stop. We thank you all so much for your love, offers of support, and mostly your prayers. Without the Lord, we would be utterly lost without any hope, but through the grace of Jesus, we stand upon the rock and find our refuge in Him. This has been the hardest day of our lives ever, but we are so thankful that we have the God of this universe to call out to, cry out to, and lean upon for strength, endurance, and hope.
Well, the doctor has told us that things are not looking good for Susana based on the statistics. But we know that our God is much greater than statistics. He is the great physician. We know that the final word begins and ends with Him. Psalm 139 reminds us that all the days of Susana’s life were written in His book before one of them ever came to be. This does not take God by surprise. His will is going to be accomplished in all of this. We just need the grace moment by moment to accept the will of God. Just like Jesus agonized in the garden before the cross and was sweating drops of blood because of the emotional pain, so we too agonize over what we are experiencing and what difficulties we anticipate in the near future. But also just as Jesus ended his time of agony and tears in the garden with the words of complete surrender to the Father in "not my will, but thy will be done", so too we end our times of tears and agony each moment with the same words, "Lord, may your will be done."
We are in the process of praying through and figuring out where the best place will be for her to get treatment. We are looking into St. Judes in Memphis, one of the leading cancer hospitals, but we were just told by the doctor here who talked with a doctor there that they don’t think she will be accepted because St Jude’s does not currently have a research project going on that pertains to the type of cancer that she has. So, we are also considering some other options, but are not yet sure.
- Please pray that the Lord will lead us to the best hospital for her treatment.
- Please pray that the tumors don’t put any pressure on her spine which could cause paralysis
- Please pray that the chemo and treatment plan will aggressively attack the cancer
- Please pray for continued strength for Susana and our family
- Please pray that we will give glory to God in ALL things.
Susana Has Cancer
April 21, 2010
Those are the hardest words that I have ever heard in my life. The doctor just informed us that she has tumors everywhere. My heart aches like it has never ached before. Our tears won’t stop. Words cannot express what we are going through. They said that it is called Neuroblastoma and they said the news is not good. It is an aggressive cancer. They are getting ready to do a bone marrow test and a biopsy and that will determine what the course of action will be.
Our ONLY hope in all of this is Jesus. We cling to Him. We cry out to Him. We trust Him in everything. We cling to His Word and His promises that all things work together for good to those who love Him and are called by His purposes. We trust Him for the grace that we need each second. We trust in His plan, whatever that might be. We remember that His ways are not our ways.
But we still grieve. We still fear the worst. We are emotional wrecks. And we still wait.
Please continue to lift up Susana. God has all power and ability to heal if He so chooses to do so. Our prayer is that she would be healed on this side of heaven. Thank you to all of you who have been praying and offering support. We will continue to post updates as we are informed. – Cody and Maria
My friends…
April 20, 2010
These have been the hardest two weeks of life. The level of difficulty has only increased day by day. I can say without a doubt that the last twenty four hours have been the hardest. Or maybe the last eight.
I was just informed that my little girl, Susana, has cancer. These are the hardest words for a mom to swallow. The pain is so strong. I feel like my chest is going to explode. I am trying my best to hold back the tears in front of her. I am also trying to remember that I serve an amazing God. He is stronger than I am. He is holding the whole universe in His hand. And if there is one thing I am fully convinced is that for the past three years He has been preparing me for this very moment.
You see, three years ago I learned the most important fact about God: He is sovereign. He is in control. Not me. Him and Him alone. All of my days were already written in His book. And not a single detail of my life escapes His knowledge or His will. But that is not all. I also have learned that He is deeply in love with me, in love with Susana, and in love with everyone of His children. And so for the past three years, the Lord took me through a journey to teach me one very important lesson. A lesson that I now summarize in my favorite scripture that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
Sure, I don’t understand His plan. I cannot tell you what He is doing or has in mind. But I am certain of the fact that even in this He will be glorified and He has a good purpose. So I have nothing to do, but to bow my head to a sovereign, good, and loving God and say, “Your will be done, not mine”. And that I say, again, because I am fully convinced that His will is perfectly good for me, for Susana, for our family.
So pray with me. Pray that my faith will only grow stronger. Pray that I am able to embrace the good in this trial. Pray that I can remain physically strong and healthy to be able to endure the changes that lay ahead for our family. And pray that God is glorified.
No, I am not in denial. This is not a pat answer or christian cliche talking. This is the very core of my faith in Him. If I don’t believe this, then the God I serve is not God, but an idol. I thank Him so much for the last six months in Haiti. I thank Him for all the trials our family endured while we were there. And I thank Him for all that we saw. For it was while in Haiti that I learned very well that He is not concerned with suffering and misery on this earth the way we are. He is, but in a different, much greater way. He is far more concerned with souls that are lost without the hope of knowing where true freedom lies–in Jesus.
I thank you all for your support and your prayers. And I thank you all for your love. We are blessed. He has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, but also down here on earth with friends like you. I love you all. Our family loves you all.
Maria