Today is February 11th…it is the 2 year anniversary of when my little 4 year old princess Susana was called home to Heaven. It is so hard to believe that it has only been 2 years. In so many ways, it feels like it has been longer than that. I mean, so much has happened since then in our lives. And also so much has changed internally within me. I have learned so much from God about life, sin, suffering, glory, and hope. I think about Susana every single day, and trust me, that is not an exaggeration. She is still part of our lives and family…although we fully are aware that we will not see her agin until we ourselves are called home to Heaven. So, I think about her all the time, but not always with a heart filled with grief and pain. Yes, there still is a pain in my heart, and I don’t suppose it will ever go away. It is in that pain in which I have drawn nearer to the Lord than ever, so I know that He uses that pain for His glory. But not all my thoughts of her bring about pain and mourning as they first did two years ago.
I give thanks to the Lord that when I think of her, though I may be sad for a moment, I am soon brought to focus on the great hope that I have in Christ. You see, the thought that my daughter died cannot end just there. It must lead me somewhere. She did not just die and fall off into some oblivion. No, she went somewhere. And that somewhere is called Heaven…a real place…the dwelling place of God and all the angels and all the saints of God who have already been called home. This, the very place that I myself am living for. And my daughter is there…now. So, my thoughts of her therefore always point me to the greatest hope that God has given me…that those who hope in Christ will not die, but will live forever!
Yes, I miss my little girl. But I know where she is. I don’t have just some vague hope in her “spirit” living on around us to touch human life. I don’t have some fairy tale thoughts of her sitting on rainbows and playing with leprechauns. There is no hope in any of those things because they are all just based on subjective wishes and feelings. Those are things that people force themselves to believe because it is the only way they can cope with the thought of their loved one being gone. People who have no true objective life giving hope are the ones who hope in such things. It is the only thing they know how to do in order to cope.
But thanks be to God that He gives a hope that is alive…a hope that is real…a hope that is fixed on truth…rooted deep in historical fact, and even deeper rooted in the hearts of those who trust in Him. O blessed hope that shall never fail! O Blessed hope that shines brighter than the greatest storms and trials. O Blessed hope that conquers even the grave. O Blessed hope that Christ is alive, that He has triumphed over death, and that those who trust in Him will live forever. Yes, this is what I rejoice in today. For it is only but for a time that I am separated from my sweet Susana, but thanks be to God for the true living hope that is rooted in my heart…a hope that shows me that I will see my little girl again when I myself have the all surpassing joy of seeing my King face to face.
Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only that, but we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us. (Romans 5:1-5 ESV)
Hope is alive…Christ lives!
Happy Anniversary to my sweet Susana. I miss you. I love you. – Daddy