The problem with “Let’s all just ‘love’ the homosexual”

Is this really biblical love?
Is this biblical reconciliation?

I wrote last week about how the Gospel, the real Gospel, is offensive to the homosexual…as well as every other person, and that that is the intent of the Gospel, to offend us all so that we see our true condition before God and see our need for salvation.

Therefore, there is no difference between the homosexual who has offended God with his or her sin and the heterosexual who has offended God likewise with their sin.  The Bible says that there is no difference, for all have sinned (homosexual and heterosexual) and have fallen short of the glory of God, and all (homosexual and heterosexual) can be justified by His grace when we turn from our sin and trust in the blood of Jesus that was the atonement for our sins.

So, what is the way for us to truly come into the faith of Jesus Christ?  It is simply to recognize that our sin is an absolute stench in the eyes of a holy and perfect God.  And it is to recognize that such sin has damned us to hell without hope.  And it is to recognize that only through the mercy of God by Jesus paying the penalty for our sins can we ever be fully forgiven to be able to be in the presence of a living God.  And of course this is what leads us to repent (to turn away from following our own way, whether that be homosexuality or materialism or whatever) and turn to Jesus and seek to follow Him.

So what is my point here?  It is very simple.  As Christians, we are doing serious harm to the homosexual if we think that embracing them is going to help them for the better.  There is a great big problem with the mindset that says, “Let’s just love the homosexual.” There is a great big problem, and misunderstanding of the Bible, with the person who says, “We must love the sinner and hate the sin.” We must realize that nowhere in the Bible does God make a distinction between the unrepentant sinner and the sin of the unrepentant person.  They are one and the same.  And yes, God loves sinners.  How do we know?  Because He died for them.  Jesus gave His life on the cross for sinners.  There can be no greater demonstration of love.  But God also hates the sinner.  Did I just say that?  Yes, I did.  Its all throughout the Bible.  The wickedness of men is an abomination before the Lord.

The Bible says that we are either friends of God (those who have repented and trusted in Him for their salvation) or we are His enemies (those who still live in rebellion to the ways of God).  There is no middle ground.  There is no unrepentant sinner whom God loves wholly yet hates the sin that he commits.  No, they are one and the same.  Sin is not something that is separate from us.  Its who we are.  We are sinners.  And without Christ, our hearts, the very core of who we are, are wicked.

Therefore, the homosexual DOES NOT need to hear that he or she is loved by God and loved by all people and that we Christians should not place a judgment on them.  Why not?  Because anybody who hears such a message, whether homosexual or heterosexual, is never going to see the severity of their sin and also their desperate need for God.  We are not helping them with such a message…we are hating them.

Think about it rationally please.  If my daughter is doing something now as an eight year old girl that I know will only cause her harm when she becomes a woman, if I truly love her, I am most certainly going to discipline her, correct her, explain to her the wrong that she is doing, and steer her in the right direction.  If I didn’t do anything, but instead said, “Well, let me just love on her” and just “accepted” her behavior and told her that nobody has the right to judge her, that would not demonstrate love.  It would demonstrate hate.  Truly loving her means that I am going to show her that she is in danger by what she is doing in hopes that she recognizes such danger and turns from it.

It is the same with the homosexual.  Christians who say “Let’s just love them” and who go to their gay parades to show that they love them and tell them that they should not be judged by anyone, are really just showing hatred not love.  How?  Because as a Christian, if we really believe that God is going to damn unrepentant sinners to hell, then showing love would mean telling them that they are in grave danger, that they are enemies of God, that unless they repent, they will certainly perish.  And it also means sharing with them about the gift of eternal life that Christ came to give us for those who turn away from themselves and turn to God.

Isn’t that what we do whenever we evangelize?  Don’t we explain to people what the Bible says about sin as much as what it says about forgiveness and eternal life?  I mean, we can’t even comprehend what mercy is unless we realize that we are damned.  And that is how we introduce people to the Gospel that saves.  Its the only way.  I can’t really be saved if I don’t really understand that I am damned.

So why is it that with our children we will discipline them and correct them in order for them to avoid danger in the future, and with the average person we will try to show them that their sin has offended a holy and perfect God and we plead with them to turn from their sin and be reconciled to God, but to the homosexual we show up at their gay parades in the name of Christ’s love and we ask them forgiveness for the church making judgments against them?  How is that love?

If the entry point for the Gospel of salvation to take root in our souls is the deep recognition that we have sinned and have offended a holy God, then wouldn’t it be the most loving thing for us Christians to show the unrepentant homosexual as well as the unrepentant heterosexual that their sin, their lifestyle, and the very essence of who they are is an offense against God?  And then from there we go on to share with them the most amazing gift of mercy and grace ever offered to such sinful men.  That is what real love for the homosexual is all about.

I have mentioned a few times about the Christian that tries to show love to the homosexual community by showing up at their gay parades and telling them that they love them and are sorry for having judged them.  This was not a hypothetical situation.  This really happens all the time…and it is very sad.

Check out this link here  It is an article about a group of Christians who wanted to show God’s love to the homosexual community, so they had shirts made up that said “I’m sorry” and they made signs that told the homosexual that they were loved by God and that they should not be judged.  Please don’t just read the article, which is very sad because of the effect that it caused on the gay community where they felt more loved and accepted (which please recognize is NOT a good thing), but also read some of the comments too, both from the gay community and how they feel more accepted by God and by Christians, and from the many Christians who sadly support such actions.

The most sad part of the article for me was the fact that this Christian who did this kept on stating that it was so beautiful in the eyes of God because biblical reconciliation was taking place.  Christian, this was nothing of the sort of biblical reconciliation, for reconciliation only occurs when a sinner recognizes their need for mercy and comes to the only One who is able to provide such mercy.  There can be no reconciliation whatsoever if there is no repentance.  That is Bible 101.  How can we not see and understand this?  How in the world could any Christian, such as this guy, have said that had Jesus been at that gay parade, that He too would have been given out hugs?  Perhaps He would have hugged those who recognized His Lordship and while hugging them, He would say, “Now, turn away from your life of sin and follow me.”  He certainly would not have hugged them, told them that He was sorry for making the commands of God so rigid, and walked away leaving them to feel good about themselves.

This type of action only lets the homosexual offender continue to believe that their lifestyle and who they are should be completely accepted before both God and man.  It allows the homosexual to justify themselves and continue on in living in a way that makes them enemies of the cross of Jesus Christ.  My friends…this is not how we love the homosexual. – Cody

10 thoughts on “The problem with “Let’s all just ‘love’ the homosexual”

  1. Do you think that the church as responded appropriately towards homosexuality, though? Regardless of one’s opinion on homosexuality, I think that the church has not historically responded in a particularly Christ-like manner.

  2. I’m unclear what you are advocating. Parents have the inherent responsibilty to raise their children. How does this equate to you relating to grown adults you may or may not even know?

    How do you interact with homosexuals? Do you spend each meeting explaining to them that homosexuality is a sin? Do you tell them your sins? If so, which ones? If not, why not?

  3. Denny, what I am advocating is that we as Christians should treat homosexuals just like we would treat any other person who was living in rebellion against God – with a love that would not shrink back from speaking the truth and begging them to be reconciled to God. This has nothing to do with me confessing my sins to them or them to me. It has to do with the call, burden, and command of Christ to make His Gospel message known to all people that salvation has come through Jesus Christ to those who recognize their sin and turn to Him for forgiveness and new life. If a homosexual or heterosexual refuses to listen, then I simply live my life in front of them as a testimony of the Gospel of grace in hopes that I may have further opportunity to share the message of Christ with them. But I certainly would not go to one of their celebrations where they flat out mock the very law of the God I love. In the same way, I would not go to a pagan festival that celebrates the very things that are condemned in God’s Word. In the same way that I would not spend a night bar hopping and indulging in things that are contrary to the life that God desires as expressed in His Word. And to each one of these people that do these things, homosexual included, I would try with whatever means possible to show them the love of Christ…and that love includes showing them first that their sinful ways have made them enemies of the cross of Christ, but Christ has such a great merciful love for them that He provided a way for them to be saved and brought near to God. To me, that is showing the true love of Christ.

    Let me ask you this: if you had a friend who was addicted to drugs and you saw that this person was heading in the direction of self destruction, wouldn’t you do whatever you could to get them to see that they are in danger of dying? I’m sure if you loved your friend, you would not go with him or her to the big drug party. And wouldn’t you be showing the utmost love by begging them to open up their eyes and turn from their destructive ways? Well, as Christians, it is the same thing. Without Christ’s redemption (which comes through repentance and trusting in Him), we are completely lost and headed straight for a fall. So, a loving Christian would certainly do whatever he or she could do to try and steer people away from such an eternal fall. And that is all I’m saying we should be doing to the homosexual…as well as everybody else we know who are living right now in rebellion against God. I hope that clarifies things for you.

    This has nothing at all to do with me being the judge of them, therefore it has nothing to do with me confessing my sins (which are many)to them or them confessing their sins to me. I am not the one to whom they must give account. God is the One whom they will stand before one day and give account. And our call and burden as Christians is to love people enough to speak the truth to them and warn them of the path that they are on. I was no different than the homosexual. I was walking in darkness. I was an enemy of the cross of Christ. I was rebelling against His Holy Word. But by His grace He opened up my eyes (through a friend sharing with me verses in the Bible that exposed my sinful condition) and led me to turn away from my sinful ways and turn to Him. And now I have been forgiven by the amazing grace and mercy of a loving God. And according to the Bible, I now have the call to be a minister of reconciliation, speaking with people and imploring them on Christ’s behalf to be reconciled to God.

    There is no hate in that. There is no homophobia in that. There is no self righteousness in that. There is only the love of Christ.

  4. Danny,

    To answer your question, yes there have been some in the church who have not responded in a Christ-like manner, but rather have stood in self righteousness while condemning the homosexual. I don’t know if you read my post last week, but this is exactly what I addressed there, so I don’t feel the need to repeat here what I wrote in last week’s post. I hope you check it out and then hopefully you can see where I’m coming from. We are not to wave our self-righeous banner in front of the homosexual…or anyone…because we don’t have anything in us that makes us righteous apart from what Christ did for us, which was simply an act of His mercy and grace. So, there is no room for boasting. The only banner that I suggest waving is the one that leads people, both homosexual and heterosexual, to see the salvation that Christ came to bring. And that banner does involve speaking the truth about our sin and rebellion towards God, but, instead of leaving someone condemned to hell, as many in the church have done towards the homosexual, also points them to the Savior. I hope this clarifies things. Peace

  5. Cody,
    You did a beautiful job of explaining that we are all sinners. The difference is confession and repentance versus denial. I pray that you continue to write, and continue to explain the Gospel as it truly is, not as people rearrange it to be.

  6. Cody,

    I hadn’t seen that prior post, and it makes a bit more sense in that context now. I understand that there is no judgement coming specifically from you in that, but most of what I’ve seen from the church in regards to homosexuality as far as our responses hasn’t been productive.

    When it comes to addiction vs. homosexuality, an alcoholic will more easily come to terms with the damage of their sin, but a homosexual is less likely to agree that there is a problem with their lifestyle. I feel as though there is little, in this case that our words will do to help someone come to find God. From what I know of you and your heart, I don’t see it as self-righteous or judgmental, I was more curious as to your thoughts on how many have (and do) respond to homosexuality that is not productive.

  7. Thanks. Finally some one cuts to the point and addresses my concerns.
    Recently someone asked why I didn’t find the NT consoling but it isn’t meant to be consoling. It challenges us and makes me know how bad a sinner I am. As for the gay pride parades I was spit on in New Orleans as a woman during one when I was in a nice dress apartment hunting. The nice gay men I have known were all abused physically or psychologically by their boyfriends. These are certainly the “women” in the relationship. The others hate women and in the end must hate men too or they would not abuse them so. Sodomy itself is abusive. Very sad. What shocks me most is that any homosexuals want to be preachers! They should at least have enough sense to see that there is nothing “preacherly” in their behavior. All this should be obvious. What I really love about your article is that it addresses child training. The neighbor kids have been out of control and screaming for over 5 years such that I can do nothing. I waited for them to get out of their terrible twos and they just got worse. Noisy neighbors and how to love them is something that no one addresses but you do indirectly by speaking of what some call “tough love”. Also, your points are good for those who want to love everyone and get a holier than thou attitude when one points out evil behavior. Somehow the table always gets turned and those who point out wickedness are accused of wickedness. I think I will keep reading your blog. Common sense is sorely lacking these days. Thanks again.

  8. Hi Cody,

    Just getting back to you regarding your response. My questions regarding how you interact with homosexuals was rooted in a desire to understand what your point was in this blog. I asked if you confess your sins to the homosexual for a reason. You referenced drug addiction. Probably the most effective person in helping drug addicts are folks that have earned the right and trust of the addict prior to addressing their problems. I wondered how you approached homosexuals about their sin without earning that right to speak into their lives (unless they’ve invited you in, of course). I have many gay friends and family members that I’ve loved for years and years. We eat together, laugh together, cry together etc. They’ve asked me what I think of homosexuality from my Christian perspective. I’ve told them the Bible says it’s a sin so I don’t have the luxury of rewriting it but I also tell them that Christ commanded me in that same Bible to love all people, so I try and do that. It was unclear to me in your blog post how you interact with your gay friends (I’m assuming you have gay friends). I was also wondering how you interact with gay strangers. Do you try and witness to them BECAUSE they are gay or because they are people?

  9. Denny, this is how anyone should interact with any sin…regardless of what that sin is.

    “but in your hearts honor Christ the Lord as holy, always being prepared to make a defense to anyone who asks you for a reason for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and respect,”
    (1 Peter 3:15 ESV)

  10. As a gay person myself. The problem is that we are condemned by christians, therefore we turn away from god and are given the constant feeling thatbwe are destined to hell regardless. So we might as well just live it up. I for one am thankful that I am coming back to god and trying to change my ways and ask for forgiveness. But if society doesnt start embracing homosexuals and letting them know that god does love them, th there is no hope pf of them giving a shit in the first place, to seek the love and forgiveness of god. Why would any gay person want to seek or even step into a church whos ontention is tobshun them

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