Our hearts ache without limit right now. Words fail me. Her tumors are back. It’s very very bad. She has them everywhere, including one on her brain. We’re losing our little girl. Without any further treatment, she has about a few months to live. Her body will soon begin deteriorating and will cause a lot of pain. The treatment options that we are presented with are few and are experimental all throughout.
Our conversation with the oncologist today had phrases like “quality of life” and “pain medication” interspersed throughout. This is really happening. I cannot even think straight.
Yet at the same time, the grace of God is mysteriously with us. We have wept like crazy, but at the same time know that we can let her go be with Jesus. He is the prize for which we chase hard after every day…and it seems like Susana will be the one who gets there first. This will only make our longing for the Kingdom to come all the more.
Please pray for us as we have some important decisions that need to be made very soon. This is the hardest thing that we have ever been faced with. We need the Lord’s peace, comfort, strength, grace, and wisdom. He is still who we cling to. He is still who we love. I don’t understand why, but I know that He is good and that He has reason for everything He does. I also know that death is not the victor to those who hope in Christ. It is just the beginning, the entry point into eternal glory. And it seems like the Lord is calling Susana through that entry point. We will rejoice with her, and we will weep. That’s the way it will be. Right now though, I’m just weeping.