Well, these days the Lord continues to reveal Himself to me and draw me closer to Him. My times alone with Him may not end with me being in tears being so overwhelmed by His love and His glory. They may not necessarily be filled with so much emotion as in the recent months, but nonetheless, I know that He is with me, and I am filled with a constant peace knowing that I am my beloved’s and He is mine.
As I was sharing these things with Maria a few nights ago, I likened it to the story of Peter when he was on the mountain while Jesus was transfigured right before his eyes. What a cool story. Peter is up on the mountain with Jesus along with the two other disciples, James and John. All of a sudden, Jesus is transfigured before Him and he sees Jesus shining in radiant glory. And to make it even more awesome, Moses and Elijah also appear on the scene, and they all hear the voice of God from heaven. Peter is so taken back and in awe, that he thinks it best to camp out on the mountain, therefore he asks Jesus if they should all make shelters so that they can stay there. When they hear the voice of God, they all fall facedown in awe. Then Jesus tells them, “Get up”, and when they do, all is back to normal and Jesus and the disciples head back down the mountain.
So, I think this story describes well my own experiences with the Lord these past few months. I feel like I was brought up to the mountain and Jesus was transfigured right before my eyes. I mean, truly, I have never seen Jesus the way that I see Him now. I feel like I have seen His glory, His radiance, His goodness, His mercy, His power, all for the first time in my life. He has in some way become so much more to me. I have seen things in Jesus that I had never seen before. So, just like Peter, I too have seen Jesus transfigured before my eyes. And also, like Peter, I would love to build a shelter and just remain there forever. I mean, when the Lord is revealed in all His glory, how would a person not want to remain there forever? Seriously, that is why we eagerly wait for heaven where we will indeed see Him as He fully is, and we will have no other desire but to fall down and worship Him forever. And that is how I have felt in these last few months. I have had such experiences with God that have left me desiring just to camp out in that place forever.
But, just like Jesus told the disciples, He tells me also, “Get up.” And He leads me back down the mountain. And I go…hesitantly.
And so, my days may appear to be back to a place of “normal” and my times alone with Him may not require a box of kleenex to be so close by. But this I know, I am not the way I was. I may not weep every day, but I long for Him every day. I may not fall to the ground on the bathroom floor being overcome by His glory, but I worship Him every day. My heart and voice are raised to Him in songs of love and sweet surrender. I am yielded to Him. My heart seeks Him. His word is my desire and my light. He has become a greater constant in my life. I know more than ever that He is with me. And this gives me a constant joy no matter what situations I find myself in. He is becoming more and more all sufficient to me. I have seen the Lord and I am forever changed.
I was only permitted to stay on the mountain for a time. Perhaps He will bring me there again sometime for another brief encounter as He seems to do with the saints of God from time to time. But the times of building shelters and camping out are reserved for another time and place that will only come when the last trumpet sounds and the saints of God are raised in immortality. O, how my heart yearns within me for the day that I will see God.