Trusting…Crying…Waiting…

Today has been a hard day.  The reality just sets in more and more that our little girl has cancer.  Sometimes, it just hits me out of nowhere and I just break down and cry.  Susana had to have a pick line put in her today so that the chemo can be administered more easily.  Basically, it is an IV that remains underneath her skin and goes from her arm up to near her heart.  This is how the chemo is administered.  Anyway, she had to be put under for this procedure, and I was the one that was with her when they put her under.  It was so hard to see my little girl put under, not just because she was being put under for some basic surgical procedure, but that she was being put under so that she can get a pick line that will administer chemotherapy since she has cancer.  That is what made it so difficult.

While I was downstairs waiting for her in the family room, Maria was upstairs meeting with her doctor and signing all kinds of consent forms to begin the chemo treatment.  Prior to that meeting and prior to her being put under, we met with a social worker who is there to help us with the changes and needs in our life now.  It was painful when she started talking about making a referral to the Make a Wish Foundation.  I don’t want that for my girl.  To me, the Make a Wish Foundation is for a child to get one last hurrah before they die.  Lord willing, we will never hear from the Make a Wish Foundation.  We don’t have a wish…we have a prayer…”Lord, heal our little girl.”

So, today was a day of painful reality setting in.  It was hard.  But we praise the Lord for the blessings of Christian brothers and sisters who are touching our lives in the most special way.  We had many people visit us today and this always gives us so much encouragement.  We are also happy to have my mother, brother, and sister who are here until tomorrow.  It is certainly a blessing to have such a wonderful support group.  We had a group of us today gather around Susana, lay hands on her, anoint her with oil, and cry out to the Lord for healing.  It was beautiful and very emotional.

I spent a lot of time today reading through many different forums and websites about neuroblastoma.  In some ways, it was encouraging to hear of some stories of people that were in the same exact situation that we are in, and now they have a child who is healthy and cancer free after several long years of treatment.  Yet there were other stories of children who had the same exact diagnosis that Susana has, yet they passed away after a year or two of battling and fighting on such a hard road.  So again, I am simply reminded that ultimately this is all in the hands of our great God and Savior.  He has the final word.  Our trust is in Him.

And so we embark on a long road ahead of us that we know will be filled with more trials and pain than we have ever known.  But we know that Jesus walks this road with us and that He will never leave us or forsake us.  This is the comfort that we need.  And this is the comfort that we have.

But one thing that I am learning through the many forums that I have been on is this:  We must learn to wait.  We must learn to wait on God.  We must learn to wait on the doctors.  We must learn to wait on Susana.  We must learn to wait for Susana’s body to be able to receive the medication.  We must learn to wait and understand that things will not always happen when we expect them to happen.  So, we pray that God gives us the grace we need to wait.

Right now, we are waiting for Susana’s blood pressure to go down so that they can begin her first round of chemo.  They are about to give her a blood pressure medication.  Hopefully, within an hour it should take effect.  Then they will give her the medication that will combat the nausea, and then, Lord willing, they will give her the first round of chemo by this evening. – Cody

29 thoughts on “Trusting…Crying…Waiting…

  1. I brought you guys up for our prayer meeting at work and the woman with me said this is just like Jairus’s daughter and I’m going to pray like Jairus did for his daughter who Jesus raised up. I was encouraged and I hope you will be as well.
    God is good
    jpu

  2. Continuing to lift you and your family up in prayers. I will be taking my 21 year old with an inoperable brain tumor to the Mayo Clinic in Florida in May. No the age, to see your children sick is a heart wrenching experience. It makes me feel a fraction of what God must have felt watching Jesus on the cross. May God give you the strength you need to it minute by minute.

  3. We work at Calvary Ft Lauderdale and help with the skate ministry & missions. We have a 11 year old daughter who has been dealing with growth issues. She is super petite and looks about 8 but has a HUGE heart for the Lord and other kids. She’d love to come down and pray fro Susanna and play with her sometime. I know this is new and overwhelming but if or when she is up for a visit, we’ll make the trip. Our family has been through cancer as well and it took tons of faith and prayer but we serve a BIG God and I know he is hearing all of our prayers.

  4. Cody & Maria,
    As I read this heartfelt update, I share your anguish and I cherish our friendship more and more. My heart is breaking with you as you take each step of this journey. I wish with all my heart I could be there with you and I could somehow, take away your pain. I wish somehow, I could take Susana’s place, take her cancer and die in her place. That is what our Father God did for us. We know that so well. He sacrificed His one and only son for us. And for that we shout Hallelujah Amen!! Our Heavenly Father holds Susana in the palm of His hand; His love is everywhere in her room and everywhere she goes in that hospital; He is right there with her and He is right there with you. We will continue to cry out with all our being and trust our Father in His infinite wisdom. We trust you Father God–Your will be done. Hugs to all the family. I love you.

  5. Cody & Maria:
    Just a little note to let you know that we ( BBC) are praying for you all…Isaiah 41:10 Fear not, for I am with you; be not dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you, yes, I will help you, I will uphold you with my righteous right hand….Psalm 55:22 Cast your burden on the Lord and He shall sustain you; He shall never permit the righteous to be moved…And when I read your post on waiting I thought abaout Psalm 27:14 Wait on the Lord; be of good courage and He shall strengthen your heart; wait, I say, on the Lord!….We continue to lift Susna up to the Throne…God Bless You!….Brian

  6. We are praying for each of you esp Susana…and praying for God’s grace to be poured out abundantly as you walk that hard difficult road that is ahead. May you be surrounded by our Lord’s love, mercy and grace…

  7. Cody my heart is broken for you. I know we haven’t talked in many many years but I will be praying for your baby girl and your family. I have two little ones also and we just all prayed for Susana. I am encouraged by your faith. I will pray for strength for you and your family. Be strong brother.
    God is in control.-ted b.

  8. I cry with you guys – I hope you know that we all walk along side you on this difficult road. We love you, love you, love you! I pray hard for Susana constantly, and I trust that God has a special future in store for her – one of reaching out to fellow cancer survivors and families. I know that God is holding her hand – clutching it – through all of this. I wish I could too.

    Love you all…

  9. I have Susana’s picture from your website on my computer screen so I see her beautiful face every time I turn on the computer.
    dear Maria and Cody,
    At times, this must seem like another unbelieveble nightmare.
    But it is real and yet I read your words of faith. We join with you believing that the invisible God that you serve is more real than cancer, that The Father loves Susana even more than your broken hearts can imagine and that He has you all in His care.

    Prayers from Canada

  10. I know we don’t know each other, I have been following your blog for a while since the earthquake through pastor Mike bulkley .. I just wanted to let you know I am praying for your little girl and your family. I work in an infusion center and oncology department and I am all to familiar with this disease .. And my heart is breaking for you . I will continue to lift up your little girl and pray for healing and a complete response to the chemo.Just reading your blogs have given me such peace and hope and I will continue to pray for you and trust that God has a plan for her that is greater than we could ever imagine!

  11. Cody,
    We are all praying for you and your family. Please know that your writing strengthens us all, and your faith is an example for all of us.
    Karen and Joe Schneider
    Biltmore Baptist

  12. Cody & Maria,

    We are from BBC in Asheville & are collecting donations & items to bring to you in a week or so when we get to Ft. Lauderdale.

    God has burdened my heart for your Susana…I’m praying for her, and for you both. My hubby, Rick & I look forward to seeing you & to praying with you. We’ll be in touch.

    Rom 8:28

  13. Lifting little Susana up to our Lord for complete remission never to return again of this cancer!!!! He is able and He is faithful to his servants. I will continue to send out your updates to those who intercede with me.

  14. Praying for God to heal Susana and to give her comfort through her hospital stay. Praying for your family to find a place to settle during your stay in South Florida. Praying for you to be strengthened as you wait. I am thinking of Isaiah right now and how he compares those who wait to the eagle taking flight with strength. Asking God to give you both an eagle eye as you lean into Him.

  15. Please know that GOD can & will bring your child through this!! I have seen it with my own eyes! At age 3 our little Shayla was diagnosed with Stage FOUR Neuroblastoma with Bone Marrow Disease in October of 2008. She was given a 30% survival rate but now she has NO EVIDENCE OF DISEASE!! PRAISE GOD!! It has been a long bumpy road but God has done so much work through Shayla’s life that we can now see his greater plan. Just take one day at a time & push forward. Please know that I am praying for your family daily. You can read all about Shayla & see her smiling photos at http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/shayla1

  16. We are praying for Susana every day. Our hearts go out to you both. My Dad is fighting leukemia and has been for a year and a half. Cancer is such a horrible thing.

  17. Our church spent our prayer service interceding for you all last night. It was encouraging to me to see how people took your situation so personally and prayed with such passion and fervency. You are loved!

  18. Cody And Maria,
    I have included Susana in my World wide prayer Circle.
    Just a Quote:
    I relax and cast aside all mental burdens,
    allowing God to express through me
    His perfect love,peace and wisdom.
    —-By my Guru,preceptor(Paramahansa Yogananda)

  19. Hey,
    I am to be a part of a team heading to Haiti in June with IsleGo. I was looking forward to meeting you all and seeing what God is doing through you there. Instead I want you to know that we here in Illinois are praying for the healing that you seek from our all-powerful Lord.
    Blessings, Scott

  20. Cody and Maria,
    I am praying for you to experience the peace that passes all understanding as you are so faithfully entrusting your little Susana into the hands of the Great Physician, our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. In the midst of so many trials in recent months and with this most recent crisis in your lives, I know that you are challenged to persevere, and we at BBC commit to stand in the gap on your behalf, fervently praying for God to use whatever means to bring about Susana’s healing. I pray Isaiah 40:31 for you.
    In Christ’s love,
    Jay Alvaro
    HOPE Network
    Biltmore Baptist Church

  21. Cody,

    We spoke on Wednesday; I am from CCOB in New Jersey. We are here for you if you want to talk, discuss things or have any questions. 732-904-2799.

    Dena and Bill Sherwood
    Mom and Dad to Sydney – 8 and Billy – 3 – Stage IV NB

  22. Dear Cody and Maria,

    “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable — if anything is excellent or praiseworthy — think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me — put it into practice. And the peace of God will be with you.” Philippians 4:8,9

    Pray for Susana continually. Praying that the chemo will be miraculously effective.

    Love,
    The Copples

  23. I was informed of your situation through a friend. I want to say to you to be encouraged!! My now three year old son was diagnosed with stage 4 neuroblastoma last July. He is now HEALED by the power of Jesus Christ!! I know the emotions you are feeling right now. It is gut wrenching. But you sound like my husband and me…full of faith in our awesome God!! The key is to quote the Word of God and healing scriptures over Susana. His Word is LIFE to them that find it and health and medicine to her flesh! The doubts and fears will continue to assail you but you know that greater is He that is in you than he that is in the world. Jesus Christ bore neuroblastoma in His body on that cross and it IS His will to heal her. The Bible says Jesus went about doing good and healing ALL that were OPPRESSED by the DEVIL. That is who the enemy is! No matter what your senses tell you, trust in the Word of God. It is true above medical facts. I know this from experience. If you need to talk I would be glad to talk to you and share Trent’s story with you. I know at the beginning things are so crazy but when things settle down and if you want you can email me through our caringbridge and I would love to speak with you. You are all in our prayers and we are believing for nothing less than complete healing in her body in Jesus’ name! God bless, Misty

  24. We have heard those same words but were very lucky that our boy was stage one. We have hope. We believe. Never forget that. Please check out http://www.bandofparents.org . . .It is a group of parents going through exactly what you are. They will help . . .they will pray . . .they will guide you through this new normal. Another organization is http://www.cookiesforkidscancer.org. The founders, Larry and Gretchen Witt, are the parents of a now 5 year old boy with stage 4 neuroblastoma. They are phenomenal people. They will also guide you and help you and give advice on treatment.

    Know that you have so many people praying for your precious princess . . .

    Remember to BELIEVE in miracles . . .we do.

    With love and HOPE,
    Stacy and John Urick

  25. Dear Cody and Maria,
    Susana is in my prayers. Members of my church, Fletcher First Baptist in Fletcher, NC are praying for Susana as well. Our church was asked to pray for Susana through someone I do not even know at another church. I have been burdened to pray for her since learning of her illness a couple of days ago. I will continue to lift her up for His will to be done. God is able to heal. I am praying for the two of you and her sister along with Susana. Praying for the peace that only comes from the Father.

  26. Dear precious friends,
    I’m looking out into the window and am amazed by God’s creation. He breathes and life exists. He never ceases to amaze me. I wish I could be there for you to lean on. But, God’s arms are much bigger and stronger than mine and I am sure you are better off leaning on His everlasting arms. He will never let any of you go. He is mighty! You both, Susana, Isabella, and Irvin are in our prayers.

    Would you tell Isabella “her friend” says hello.

    Luv,
    Jennifer

  27. Cody and Maria,
    Just want you to know I’m lifting Susana up to our Lord Jesus for complete healing and for comfort and overwhelming peace for your entire family. I have not met your family however, I know your son, Irvin. He and my son, Nathan were best friends when he was here in Asheville.

    Tammy

Comments are closed.