These have been the hardest two weeks of life. The level of difficulty has only increased day by day. I can say without a doubt that the last twenty four hours have been the hardest. Or maybe the last eight.
I was just informed that my little girl, Susana, has cancer. These are the hardest words for a mom to swallow. The pain is so strong. I feel like my chest is going to explode. I am trying my best to hold back the tears in front of her. I am also trying to remember that I serve an amazing God. He is stronger than I am. He is holding the whole universe in His hand. And if there is one thing I am fully convinced is that for the past three years He has been preparing me for this very moment.
You see, three years ago I learned the most important fact about God: He is sovereign. He is in control. Not me. Him and Him alone. All of my days were already written in His book. And not a single detail of my life escapes His knowledge or His will. But that is not all. I also have learned that He is deeply in love with me, in love with Susana, and in love with everyone of His children. And so for the past three years, the Lord took me through a journey to teach me one very important lesson. A lesson that I now summarize in my favorite scripture that all things work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to His purpose (Romans 8:28).
Sure, I don’t understand His plan. I cannot tell you what He is doing or has in mind. But I am certain of the fact that even in this He will be glorified and He has a good purpose. So I have nothing to do, but to bow my head to a sovereign, good, and loving God and say, “Your will be done, not mine”. And that I say, again, because I am fully convinced that His will is perfectly good for me, for Susana, for our family.
So pray with me. Pray that my faith will only grow stronger. Pray that I am able to embrace the good in this trial. Pray that I can remain physically strong and healthy to be able to endure the changes that lay ahead for our family. And pray that God is glorified.
No, I am not in denial. This is not a pat answer or christian cliche talking. This is the very core of my faith in Him. If I don’t believe this, then the God I serve is not God, but an idol. I thank Him so much for the last six months in Haiti. I thank Him for all the trials our family endured while we were there. And I thank Him for all that we saw. For it was while in Haiti that I learned very well that He is not concerned with suffering and misery on this earth the way we are. He is, but in a different, much greater way. He is far more concerned with souls that are lost without the hope of knowing where true freedom lies–in Jesus.
I thank you all for your support and your prayers. And I thank you all for your love. We are blessed. He has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places, but also down here on earth with friends like you. I love you all. Our family loves you all.